Get Drunk Sunday? Eh?

Well Mom and Mom #2 left today. Boy do I love 'em, BUT boy do I love to see 'em leave. That is not meant to be said in a bad way at all, but oh my...I'm sure you've all felt that...with a close relative or close family friend.
Yeah they spoiled us rotten, yes we appreciate it, yes we feel forever indebted to them, BUT it's so good to have our home back to ourselves.

It's been about 6 months since I've seen mom...that's the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. Living in a different country does that...yeah even if it's only a 7 hour drive, BUT (yes there's that BUT again) I am a mama's girl..I love my mom...but man, she can drive a priest to insanity (wait that happens daily haha).

A little bit of background here. My mom used to participate in beauty pageants..she used to have a life, she used to love life and ALL it had to offer. She used to live for life itself. Now? All that remains is a shell of her former self.

She's going on 58 and all she wants to do is sit, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and bitch about her health problems. Her health problems are brought on by herself.
Yeah most people would feel sorry for her, but I don't. Not any longer.

For the last 15 years she has just given up on herself. She seems to think it's a rite of passage to becoming old. To develop emphysema, to let her bones and muscles degenerate and such. It seems mean, but the more people feel sorry for her...the happier she is. I've stopped feeling sorry for her...I can't help it mean as it sounds.
I am a big girl. Yeah I'm fat...so what...pffft. I can walk, I will walk, I do walk. She doesn't, she doesn't try, she doesn't wanna try. I sometimes think she has a death wish. She'll be in a wheelchair before she's 60 for crying out loud...and not from injuries...just from not taking care of herself...and not CARING about her health and not caring that people she loves care about her.

See the thing is..she FAKES...it'as not that she CAN'T walk, or move..it's that she doesn't want to. She has admitted that. We went to Louisville Kentucky..she didn't walk along the waterfront to take pics with us because she hurt. She didn't walk around Nashville with us because she hurt. But oh yeah she walked for over 2-3 hours all through Graceland and the gift shops, AND slept GREAT that night and felt better the next day....BUT when we wanted her to come into a mall with us..SUDDENLY she developed the "oh it hurts" syndrome.

I am TERRIFIED that my mom is gonna die by age 60. I WISH someone could make her realize that she is only hurting herself physically AND emotionally..as well as affecting everyone else emotionally. It sucks, but I truly hurt for her. yet I refuse to let her know how I feel about it anymore because she uses that against me, tries to make me feel even sorrier for her. Anyone have an idea, solution or anything? I really would like to be able to see my mom in 5, 10, 15, even 20 years down the road.

Ok so yeah, im drinking...I'm tipsy./..so therefore it's Get Drunk Sunday...Praise the Almighty Budweiner! Hallelubud!!!!! hahahaha. Over n Out!

posted by Donna at 4/30/2006 09:59:00 p.m.