I feel much better now.

It's a happy, somewhat sad day for me.
Now I don't normally talk about my marriage, or personal details of my life, but this is something that's not super scary or whatever.

I gave up my whole life back home in Canada to move here to the U.S. and get married. This is the longest time I've been away from home (my true home, and it will always be that). He didn't want to move up to where I was either. We kept putting off trying to make me a legal resident of this country, and by now I am sick of it.

I can't work, and i refuse to take a job illegally. I do not ever want to fuck up my chances of becoming a legal resident of this country.

I'm getting cranky, I'm feeling useless, well to be honest I feel as if I'm going insane. It is putting a huge strain on Mr. Dork, and I as a couple.

For the longest time my thoughts have been consumed with going back to Canada, so that I can work, and get everything immigration oriented dealt with up there.
I've finally made my decision. I'm going back after the weekend. I wanted to be there to celebrate Canada Day with my family, but I have too much stuff to do around here, plus I want to celebrate the 4th of July with my husband and his family. Who knows when I will see them again.

He's not happy about me going back, but he wants me to be happy so he's standing behind me 100% in this. Not to mention, since I can't work here I am a huge financial strain on him. We just can't seem to get ahead, and stay there.

I'm at a point of my life that I'm not completely sure of myself, of what I want out of life, so I feel going back, and doing my own thing will help me figure things out. Also it will help him live stress free as I won't be here being a total twat a lot of times, over stupid shit, out of boredom, anger, and just feeling all fucked up.

So that is why I'm feeling happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy to see my home again, the lake, all the people I know from there, my family, and my dogs..oh Coco and Pugsy are gonna go nuts when they see me.
But
I'm sad because I have to, for the second time in my life just leave everything, and everyone behind. All I can say is thankfully we don't have children. We do have the kitties, but I know he will take good care of them.

posted by Donna at 6/28/2006 09:31:00 a.m.