I feel like I'm half chipmunk.

Here I sit at 6:30 a.m. eating custard. Why? Because I'm only allowed soft foods, and need something in my stomach before doping myself up on amoxicillin and percocets! Wanna know why I'm doping myself up, oh and missing at work? My lovely fucking teeth, that's why.

My weekend was ok, not very restful, but Sunday we came down to Toronto to do an early Christmas thing with my other brother. I was in pain and miserable most of the damned time. The whole right side of my face was just throbbing. My brothers partner said that if I wanted to stay in the city and go to the dentist with him, he would foot the bill.
Now a little more background. My mom wasn't the greatest at teaching us about oral hygiene, nor was she good at checking to make sure we brushed our teeth. So needless to say I've got a mouth full of slowly rotting teeth. Delightful isn't it? ACK!!!
I haven't been to a dentist in 13 years, mostly because I couldn't afford it, secondly I am TERRIFIED of dentists, even though I've never had a bad experience with one.

So here I am yesterday, sitting in one dentists chair having an exam and xrays done. The result? I needed to have my right side top and bottom wisdom teeth out, preferably THAT DAY. Ugh! Now this has me shaking like a leaf. The dentist has the receptionist calling oral surgeons all over the damned city, and none of them can take me until next week, until the last one she called. Oy, shaking even more..in an hour or two I'm going to lose a part of myself.
Oh, and yes I was being a drama queen, I'm still terrified and it's the day after it was done.

I get to the new dental office, fill out my forms, smoke my last cigarette before going in, then I walk in bravely, get into the chair, then begin shaking again. Awww I'm such a wimp. They give me nitrous oxide, and I'm suckin that shit in like it's my last breath, the dentist comes in, sticks me full of novacaine then leaves me there by myself wondering if he's some type of sadist and is going to wait until the drugs wear off then rip out my teeth with a pair of visegrips.

By the time he came in to do the job I was pretty much bamboozled by the laughing gas, and numb as hell from the needles, I hardly felt a thing. It was still pretty disgusting though. At one point he was trying to haul the bottom tooth out so hard it felt like my jaw was going to just break...wow brings new meaning to cocksuckers cramp eh. The most disgusting part of it all was that I could HEAR the teeth coming loose and coming out. I'm haunted by it, ugh!

Well I am off to finish my custard and drug myself up. I woke up with swelling so half my face is puffed out chipmunk style...lovely.

posted by Donna at 12/19/2006 06:33:00 a.m.