So...
Yeah, I totally suck.I get so many ideas for stuff to blog about, and when I get to the computer, I completely forget about it. Usually my ideas fly wild when I'm at work and reading the paper in between cashing out customers.
I'm sick, it really sucks. My throat isn't sore anymore, but the chest and sinus congestion is just unreal. I would just love to crawl back into bed and stay drugged up, but I can't. I have to work a half shift today, and all the cold meds in the cabinet are expired, and I'm picky about expiration dates on anything.
Tomorrow I have an appointment at the Cardiology department in the hospital. For the last two years i've been having strange chest pains. They come and go so fast, but because I'm a fatass and I smoke, it worries me. I already had to cut down on stimulants (caffeine and nicotine, yet I'm still smoking like a trooper - bad bad Donna). They're going to have me wear an event monitor for a week, so maybe now we'll find out if I really do have a heart problem, or if I'm just full of bad gas HAHA! I'm just hoping it's nothing major. I haven't been the greatest with taking care of my health. I want to get a handle on things. If there is anything wrong with me at all I want it taken care of, and I want to keep on top of this stuff.
In a perfect world, I would wake up tomorrow thin and fit, without any addictions to cigarettes or coffee, but realistically I know that goal is going to take a long fucking time to do it. I enjoy smoking and drinking coffee, but I do not enjoy the stink from the cigarettes, or the health risks smoking creates. I see my mom who is not even 60 yet, and is on oxygen, and shit it scares me. My grandmother on my mom's side was a heavy smoker and drinker. She had something like 5 heart attacks, and the last one killed her. She died on her 70th birthday.
See, I think of all this stuff constantly, it scares me, and I know I need to quit smoking and get in better shape, but I just don't know what to do, where to start. It so completely overwhelms me, that I just tend to say fuck it and go on with things the way they are.
It's times like this that I wish prayer would help, because oh then I would pray....on my knees even.
Have a good day!
posted by Donna at
1/11/2007 10:55:00 a.m.
3 comment(s):
I doubt I'll quit smoking because I love it so much and it's basically my only vice...if you don't count swearing.
I gained a ton of weight in 93. I looked horrible. In 95 I got an excercise bike and started riding it. The first month was hell. I think I would spend 5 minutes on that thing then fall off, crawl to the couch and hyperventilate for an hour. And my ass hurt something fierce.
However, I had a Dr appointment in January when I started and got a weight. In February I had a gyno appt and when they weighed me I had lost 17 lbs. I couldn't believe it. That got me seriously motivated and I lost 65lbs in 4 months building myself up to 20 minutes a day with Sundays off. I also did upper body excercises with two dish detergent bottles filled with water...honest to God and got really toned just from that.
All the while I was eating horribly, fritos, haggen daaz...about 3 months in, I stopped drinking coke in exchange for diet coke and started eating healthy.
I look back on it and it seemed soooo easy but I have no drive to do it again since I stopped...so it's about wanting and drive in the end.
Good luck tho!
By
Donna, at
1:29 p.m.
See, that's the thing. I know I can do it. When I was 16 I started going to the gym, and was doing really great. Not so much losing weight, but I noticed big changes in my body and it motivated me.
I'm starting to feel that sense of despair that got me started at age 16, so hopefully I can give myself the final push to just get active again, and drink more water.
Now for the smoking thing..well I just want to cut down a bit, I smoke way too much.
By
Donna, at
4:19 p.m.
Here's hoping you are just full of gas. :)
By
Cassandra, at
11:35 p.m.
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