Purina Diet

Thanks to Jackiesue for this one. Got this in my e-mail from her, and it completely cracked me up...I had to post it. Thanks Jackie!!

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A PERFECT DIET!

I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no and that I was starting The Purina Diet again even though I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time.
But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets.
Then simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no and that actually, I'd been sitting in the middle of a street licking my balls when a car hit me.

posted by Donna at 7/31/2006 08:57:00 a.m.