Ear Infucktion

I can't sleep worth a shit, so thankfully I've got access to a computer this morning. So how about I let ya all know my weekly drama update - GAG!

I spent the week in Toronto visiting with my brother, then I got to see my good friend Butterfly (real name won't be used here). It was so good to see her, as she was really the only one out of all my friends who couldn't make it down to see me in Ohio.
I sent a heartfelt letter to the idiot explaining to him how I felt, and that if he ever thought we were going to have a chance again he'd have to move here to Canada. He said no way, and then he sent me a string of rude, crude e-mails doing nothing but calling me names and insulting me. Yeah good way of trying to get me back..asshole!

I came back from Toronto on Friday. I needed to see a doctor like immediately. I felt like the right side of my head and ear were going to explode into millions of pieces.
Turns out that I have an ear infection. UGH! I will never ever ever again tell my friends kids to suck it up and quit whining when they have one. I have never felt such excruciating pain in my head, ear and jaw like this was. The doc gave me a prescription for antibiotic pills, antibiotic ear drops, and a nice big bottle of tylenol 3's (which didn't do too well considering I had to beg mom for a couple percosets).
It's starting to heal up nicely, but now I've got a cold coming on full force, not to mention the anguish my allergies are putting me through. Ugh!

Saturday was Booboo and Marc's birthday party, I did make it, but I didn't drink and I crashed early. They put on a really colorful and fun drag show which I did stay up long enough to see, as I always know that Booboo dressed as a chick will impress even the most sheltered homophobe.

So I'm at a friends near Gravenhurst again. Not sure how long I'll be here for. It's so calm and relaxing here, and there are many plants and cats (now that's my cup of tea) for me to admire and play with, and lots of movies that have come out in the last year for me to watch.

I'll admit it. I'm actually feeling quite down and low. Even though I left him on my terms and because of what happened, I just can't completely shut off my feelings for him.
One minute I'm crying because I miss him, my kitties, and my own home, but then on the other side of that I'm happy that I have the freedom to do whatever and have no responsibilities. I guess I could say that I feel lost. Even though I was homesick in Ohio, it became my home. I got used to doing things my way, having the kitchen set up my way, surrounded by my plants, our stuff, having a warm comfortable body to snuggle up to at night. Gawd, you know I can't even bring myself to contact an old fuck buddy for a quick screw because I'd feel like I was cheating or doing something wrong. I just feel all fucked up, turned around and not sure which way to go.

I was kind of hoping for some type of reconciliation, even after what happened I was willing to give it another try, but after those emails this past week, and the more I think oh how fucked up this situation is the more I don't want to go back.
Yeah I'm sad now, lonely, feeling completely inadequate and insecure, but there has to be better things in the future for me. I just need to get through this, and things most likely will look brighter when I finally shake off this ear infection.

Well shit, it's almost 6 AM, gonna go see whats on tv, everyone is starting to wake up, and the kitties are roaming. Have a good day!

posted by Donna at 9/26/2006 04:58:00 a.m.