Everything looks better in the morning!

Wow! You know...considering that the past 24 hours have been the shits, I'm feeling pretty fucking good this morning.
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and words, it means a lot.
I couldn't get to sleep until about 4 a.m, I had a wicked killer headache, and my jaw hurt from clenching my teeth so much. So before falling asleep, I did get maybe three boxes packed. Mostly clothes, but I'm leaving all non important shit. All the kitchen stuff that my mother bought us for Christmas is coming with me. I'll need it when I get into my own place. Before I came into the picture he never cooked for himself, and he had these ratty looking pots and pans. He can keep those. I'm not taking anything that was solely his. I'm not gonna clean him out. I'm just not dirty like that. I'm better than him. I'll take what I need to get myself started.

All I can say is thank gawd for the Vonage activity log, otherwise I would never had a clue what was going on. Oh yeah cell phone call from an unknown number at 3 in the morning, then a call from the Holiday Inn Express at 7 something that morning, while I was away. I called the cell phone, actually talked to the person. This person got all flustered and hung up..so I pretty much knew it.
I was napping on the couch when he came home. When I woke up one of his buddies were here, and they were drinking as usual, so I waited until dude left so I could confront him. He denied everything at first, but I didn't believe him and said so. He finally admitted it to me. First promise he made me was that he'd never smoke crack again. We did it a few times, and I was starting to want it too much so I cut it off right there. I refused to let myself become an addict. We both promised each other that we wouldn't do it again. Well sure enough, the dumbass forgot to wipe off the coffee table and there were crumbs of rock and bits of powder...DUMBASS! As if I wouldn't notice that. So there's the first promise made and broken.
Second promise is that he wouldn't fool around on me behind my back. We had talked about possibly having a fling with someone, or another couple, but TOGETHER you know. I told him the idea was kinda hot, but I don't know if I could handle it and all that, so we never went for it. So he went out and had his own fun. Second promise broken.

Then when I confronted him about it, he said he didn't do anything but sleep all weekend. I told him he's a dumbass and he'd better fess up. I told him I knew he was doing crack and he admitted to doing one hit. That was a lie. He finally admitted to actually buying some. Then he denied that he met up with anyone and I basically called him a bullshitter and then he said he met up with this person, but didn't do anything. I called him on his bullshit again and he finally admitted that he did fool around on me.

There's three types of people in life that I want nothing to do with. Liars, cheaters, and thieves! He's two of those three, and I'm not stickin around to put up with it. I've put up with his miserable lazy ass for a year and a half. Changed my whole sleep schedule just to make sure he made it to work on time. I cooked and cleaned without complaint. I made his lunches for work, and made sure his keys, glasses and everything were where he could find them. I put up with him drinking all the time, no sex, no love really at all. Fuck I even washed his shitty fucking underwear and this was the thanks I got? Seems like he wanted a mama, not a wife!
Believe me, before I met him I was completely undomesticated. I never cooked or cleaned, someone else always did that. I did what I wanted, went where I wanted, when I wanted. I changed my whole life to suit him, and now I'm taking it back.

So the whole point of this post is to say that yeah, I'm a bit angry and hurt, but the best thing of all is I'm free. I have MY OWN life back, and boy am I going to enjoy it!

posted by Donna at 9/06/2006 11:02:00 a.m.